WALKIN' ON SUNSHINE WOAAAH
LLLena { Same Shit Different Day } ☂ 
I'm a big fan of television, movies and music. AND HANDSOME GUYS DUH I love discovering new tv shows, new fandoms, new artists. NEW FAVORITES TO UH STALK? LUST OVER?? I'm trying to start reading and writing again.
"I'm not as good as I used to be, but I'm okay"
"I'm not as good as I used to be, but I'll try harder"
Don't be afraid to dream a little bigger darlin'
I SALSA UR FACE
✌ robert downey jr. · ewan mcgregor · jude law · johnny depp · colin farrell · jim carrey · tom hanks · wentworth miller · kevin spacey · george clooney · jeff bridges · jeremy renner · geoffrey rush · simon pegg · nick frost · colin firth · brad pitt · nicolas cage · leonardo dicaprio · sean penn · paul rudd · jason segel · clint eastwood · paul newman · marlon brando · matt damon · mark wahlberg · aaron paul · tim roth · etc
Secondly, don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want.
HE ATE A BANANA
✌ quentin tarantino · tim burton · martin scorsese · stanley kubrick · coen brothers · danny boyle · steven spielberg · edgar wright · robert rodriguez · roman polanski · sidney lumet · david fincher · christopher nolan · alfred hitchcock · etc
Taste me, drink my soul
Show me all the things that I shouldn't know
When there's a new moon on the rise
I had everything, opportunities for eternity
And I could belong to the night
TALK DIRTY TO ME
✌ SONS OF ANARCHY · parks and rec · happy endings · friends · the good wife · supernatural · prison break · true blood · band of brothers · psych · lie to me · pushing daisies · harper's island · how i met your mother · torchwood · sons of anarchy · breaking bad · dexter · the it crowd · the office · etc
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And I really miss what really did exist
When I held your throat so tight
And I miss the bus as it swerved from us
Almost came crashing to its side
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moved
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"So what do we do?"
NOTHING IS RIGHT TODAY. Been sitting and eating the whole day. Been moping and wanting to scream. Feeling so restlesssss.Labels: GETS WORSE, HATE, STUPID
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"Greatness Achieved."
BorderX indoor climbing expedition
Taken by mom.Labels: photos
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"What do you believe in? What do you feel?"
fuckyeahyoga:
Don’t give up because something is hard.
If you tend to go, go, go - then maybe rest when you would normally push yourself in a yoga class.
But, if you’re like me, and tend to slack add that extra pushup during your vinyasas or hold your breath until your body MAKES you breath. Challenge yourself. Push yourself to failure.
If you are able to do everything you try, you aren’t learning anything new; you’re not progressing!
(obviously dont hurt yourself. i hesitated to put this picture up because of the word “pain”. but you get the idea!)
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"Dig our way out with an eggbeater."
LOL all positive energy from last night is gone. I now feel like utter crap \o/
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"Five AMmies for the soul."
Nngh so my left arm is kind of aching and I cannot fall asleep. Maybe I ate too much sugar, but still, with all the activity today, you'd think I'd have collapsed onto the bed as soon as I showered. Quite the opposite things were.. Because I cannot sleep, I shall proceed to spam this blog.
No doubt I did good today. I think it would have been better if I had not eaten so much so late at night/so early in the morning.
Replying Genevieve's darling post from her blog~
I think your post was the heartwarming one! :D Please don't say that. It was really fun climbing with you. You weren't delaying anything. My sister and I definitely needed the rest time orzzz Anyway, I think the whole climbing process encourages endurance, perseverance and also team work. I think the three of us did great!
So you noticed :x I'm sorry I couldn't help you out during the yoga. I wasn't sure if the teacher would want me to talk in her class, so I didn't say anything. I'm really glad you liked the class regardless <3 Maybe some day we could do yoga together at either one of our houses! Thanks for your cheers :) I still got lots to improve on la XD; I hope we can both keep up this spirit ;w;
Halfway mark or not, you climbed up. I think it feels good to face our fears.. even though today's might be less significant. Haha I was scared too when climbing :x
I hope your bruise and your cold heals properly so there isn't too much discomfort for you. I'm not sure if we can see results within one week, but I'm sure you will feel different/better? XD
PS. I don't think your efforts will be washed away just because you ate dinner. <3
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When I cannot fall asleep
3514.) I don’t know what I’m doing anymore. I keep going through my daily routine, not really thinking about it. I’m trapped in this dark world, where I can’t be who I want to be, just what society wants me to be and what my parents expect of me. Get me out of this box, I want to be on the outside. I want to be extraordinary, original…I want to be me. How do I do that? When I’m following my passionless, emotionless, thoughtless routine, that seems so much easier. thepricewepay-:
Labels: picspam
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Super ~general~ post
So, rock climbing- indoor wall climbing and yoga today. Tired, tired, but happy :) It beats hibernating in my shell at home 247 which I have been doing for 365. It was a memorable and thrilling experience, climbing up the wall. I am thankful to be joined by my sister and Genevieve. I could not have done it alone.
To Genevieve, if you ever read this.. you were really awesome today :D :D You went all the way for both ordeals. If not for your flu and nausea, I'm sure you would have felt more comfortable with climbing. Still, you didn't give up even though it was that challenging. And I think you did pretty well for the yoga. You endured all of it and just gave it your best efforts :') Honestly, if I hadn't had that little bit of home practice months ago, I would have probably felt incompetent with the others.. but well, yoga is about you, and there's no need to rush anything. <3
I need a shower right now, but I feel so lazy D: I need to really blog about more fun things OTL too much words and positive thoughts.Labels: short stuff
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Super ~positive~ post
I've had a remarkable day. I did say in the previous post that I wouldn't use the computer in the night. Because browsing the internet aimlessly leads to mindless snacking. I'm going to just make an exception for blogging. Hopefully this isn't cheating.
17 June 2010: Climbed up a wall of 30 meters. Like spiderman, only cooler. Yeah you better believe it. Then I did yoga, a hot flow class. I'm not exactly sure how I feel, but I think I'm glad to pick up yoga again. I want to keep up regular classes. I know it will benefit me both emotionally and physically. I used to really enjoy my home practice, copying moves off youtube instructional videos. However, I think after a few months of daily practice with cycling, I started to get tired. Probably physically, and also tired of the same routine.
Not to blame dad, but I feel like his words did contribute to my decision to eventually stop yoga. Of course, it is my decision, and I can only blame myself for giving up. Still, I wish he had told me to push on when I shared that I was feeling less keen about the yoga, and lazy. He told me to give it break. Pretty much convinced me that it was okay if I didn't practice for a week------
I interrupt this blog entry to say that there's a gigantic cockroach crawling in the wrapper of the food I just ate omg. Seriously, what is with this house and its bugs and ants and unidentified unknowns. Must resist running away from this spot----
Yeah so anyway, I was feeling bad about skipping my yoga practice back then. Dad says take it easy. I took it easy. I relaxed and didn't do the yoga. Only I forgot to start my practice again. Well, not forgot. The guilt ate at me every day. Instead of dealing with it, I tried turning to comfort food to eat away my guilt. Oh the horror of my regrets.
After so many months, and weight gain, doing yoga again feels quite good actually. I like how I feel after the class. I'm also not as worried about struggling with the poses and breathing as I used to. I guess I learned acceptance. I hope so, at least. It's not a competition, its for health benefits, and pure enjoyment. So I will damn well have fun with it. The heat really gives a detoxification kind of effect, which is good. I have never enjoyed sweating like this. I don't want to give up on it again..
I want to persevere.. to find my self discipline. I have not lost it, I just need to find it again. I will give myself time. I will try to forgive and forget. I will try to value myself, and not do things that harm my well being. I won't think negative. I'll do the things I plan, I'll start changing step by step. Because I don't like the old me. I am a burden to my family. I don't like the old me way of living my life. It's hard to shed the dirty old habits.. because the past tends to stick on and poke its head out in the present every now and then.
Whatever I couldn't do, or did in the past, it's over. I can't go back. But I can build my future. I do want to be different. I want to think about things besides food and sleep and internet.
I need to find my inspiration. For times when I feel awful and distressed. I need to find reason to continue. One mistake does not lead to a chain of mistakes. I used to believe that one good day equals to double the amount of bad days, but that's incredibly stupid. People make hundreds of decisions every day that they are not aware of. One of the reasons why I think yoga is beneficial is that it helps you find yourself.
I'm probably going to make this a long and serious and boring post while waiting for my late night dinner to digest.
Dear self, you can do better than you believe you can. Never limit yourself to your past experiences and low self confidence. Whenever you feel down, remember that you are unbeatable. In life, you fight on the offensive, you don't run in defense to the lemons or oranges life throws at you.
It doesn't matter if you don't know what you truly want. Nobody does. Often we think we do and we may end up wrong. But we cannot always be right. We can still learn from our mistakes. Reflect. You have been trying to avoid socializing and dealing with stress since years ago in secondary one. Your father did not teach you to run and hide like that. It is the easy way out, but you're left with unpleasant thoughts, and your self confidence takes a beating in despair. If you never try, you regret not trying. Because you think of the millions of possibilities that could have happen if you tried. But if you did try and made a mistake, it's a learning experience. And you get to pat yourself on the back for being a good sport.
You're a slave to misery and laziness, you know that. Don't let food and laziness own your life. Sometimes your judgment gets clouded and foggy. You may want to take a step back, relax a little, laugh a little, then evaluate things from a different pov.
To commemorate the start of a new beginning, a new something.. these are the positive things you like about yourself:
-though you may not have attended school for the past few years, though whatever happened, happened, haven't you gained a new perspective in life?
-you're more matured than you used to be. even more than some other teenagers your age.
-you may not have had much success with changing your habits thus far, but you have succeeded in realizing that change is necessary. work at it a bit at a time.
-you take care of your hygiene
-you love your family, and you care for your friends
I don't know how long this "good positive thinking and feeling" will last.. but I don't want it to ever fade.
I have to say, getting caught up in wanting to cosplay again might have inspired some of that. Not all, but some. I'm just excited, and would very much like to cosplay at cosfest. Just pretty much a closet cosplay, but it's JoJo, and it's been a while since I've had plans. I'm really looking forward, and I want to put in my best. I don't want to go back to my old ways after cosfest though. But, I'll be okay :)
I feel like this post is so jumbled up and extremely lengthy, but it's the way I like to babble. Pictures would definitely make this a more fun post, but maybe later.
Because I'm out of things to blog about:
 suggested by Crazy Blog Lady"What is one thing you think that everyone should know how to do?"
suggested by Crazy Blog Lady"What is one thing you think that everyone should know how to do?"
suggested by Victorian Furnishings"What is your favorite age? If you could stay that age forever, would you?"
suggested by Jaded Muse"Write about something you lost. It could be a person; a pet, a day of the week, an article of clothing. Anything. How did the loss make you feel?"Labels: too many words
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GOLDEN EXPERIENCE
okay, i'm going to try this again. honestly speaking though, the thing i like most about creating new blogs is having to edit the template. the blogging itself.. well let's just say the enthusiasm never lasts. but a new blog means a fresh start. a new blog means clean pages. old blogs contain memories, memories that are important. but they also contain regrets. regrets that should be forgotten.
for real this time, i'm going to change my life. genuinely want to change my life. i'm not going to make excuses for myself anymore. i'm going to push myself harder. the previous night, i pretty much choked myself gobbling up food once more, while aimlessly clicking away at the internet. so, dear self, no more internet or computer at night. in fact, i've deleted all my facebook games.. save one or two.
SO yeah, new blog!! New experiences, new thoughts. Of course, I'm not going to start a brand new blog every time I "screw up". Maybe I'll just go burn paper.Labels: short stuff
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E-mail: EMAIL HERE
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30 day challenge / facts abt me <- aka more rl related
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