WALKIN' ON SUNSHINE WOAAAH
LLLena { Same Shit Different Day } ☂ 
I'm a big fan of television, movies and music. AND HANDSOME GUYS DUH I love discovering new tv shows, new fandoms, new artists. NEW FAVORITES TO UH STALK? LUST OVER?? I'm trying to start reading and writing again.
"I'm not as good as I used to be, but I'm okay"
"I'm not as good as I used to be, but I'll try harder"
Don't be afraid to dream a little bigger darlin'
I SALSA UR FACE
✌ robert downey jr. · ewan mcgregor · jude law · johnny depp · colin farrell · jim carrey · tom hanks · wentworth miller · kevin spacey · george clooney · jeff bridges · jeremy renner · geoffrey rush · simon pegg · nick frost · colin firth · brad pitt · nicolas cage · leonardo dicaprio · sean penn · paul rudd · jason segel · clint eastwood · paul newman · marlon brando · matt damon · mark wahlberg · aaron paul · tim roth · etc
Secondly, don't let anyone ever make you feel like you don't deserve what you want.
HE ATE A BANANA
✌ quentin tarantino · tim burton · martin scorsese · stanley kubrick · coen brothers · danny boyle · steven spielberg · edgar wright · robert rodriguez · roman polanski · sidney lumet · david fincher · christopher nolan · alfred hitchcock · etc
Taste me, drink my soul
Show me all the things that I shouldn't know
When there's a new moon on the rise
I had everything, opportunities for eternity
And I could belong to the night
TALK DIRTY TO ME
✌ SONS OF ANARCHY · parks and rec · happy endings · friends · the good wife · supernatural · prison break · true blood · band of brothers · psych · lie to me · pushing daisies · harper's island · how i met your mother · torchwood · sons of anarchy · breaking bad · dexter · the it crowd · the office · etc
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And I really miss what really did exist
When I held your throat so tight
And I miss the bus as it swerved from us
Almost came crashing to its side
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moved
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missed two great big opportunities
the universal studios halloween horror auditions
the short and sweet singapore acting deadline submission
mostly sulking over the former
it would have been a brilliant experience
and i have nothing to do anyway
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I guess in comparison to this week, and in comparison to July, the month of August was a good one. It started out tough but it ended pretty well. I had acting class once/twice a week, and I was exercising semi regularly, and it was good. I was meeting with Gen once a week and I was going out and doing stuff. Then the acting class ended, I started my fucking period, and I'm barely exercising, and I'm stuck with nothing to do. I could go out daily and do things but I'm just not programmed that way. I need something to get me out, like that acting class. Now it's over and all the hard work I put into getting myself out of the house again is slowly being wasted away. The binges are getting much worse. I've lost interest in the things that I was excited about last month. SIFF, mainly because I applied to be a volunteer and I have not got any response, and also I haven't bought tickets because I haven't been to the sistic outlets locally and I haven't got a credit card to buy them online because I don't have a fucking job and I don't have any fucking money. I was looking forward to Contagion and the Sons of Anarchy premiere but that's over. I've got the Universal Studios trip with Gen to look forward too but I'm afraid my period will mess it up, or the weather will mess it up like it's messed up my fucking cycling schedule or I will mess it up myself, by wasting away during the month of September. I can't stop fucking putting on weight and nothing sticks. Good things are all temporary and once I get adjusted to something, any change that is not in favor of that thing will bring me back to all the bad things I habitually do. For example, not having anything to do this month is making me stay stuck at home again!!!!!!
Also, just last week I was thinking about what improvements I'd made, how I'd did well because when I tried to thing about the shit I used to think about eg the negative self hating thoughts, the semi suicidal thoughts, the fuck everything thoughts, I couldn't. I was just too happy and positive and I was okay with things. I liked how I was doing. And then boom! This week, fuck everything, I hate everything once more. Nothing is right. I can't do it everything is shit.
I think I should kill myself again because it's either that or forever fight and fail and fight and fail and I don't know.
I haven't exercised in so many days. I haven't gone for my yoga in so many days, after going back again after a one year plus break for three days. I need to get back, my body is getting fatter and weaker again.
Why do I have this body? Why do I have this horrible stay at home sit on my ass 25 hours a day lifestyle? Why do I have this neverending emotional habitual compulsive overeating ritual?
On another note, I'm starting to take interest in Al Pacino, and reactivating my interest in Jude Law. Contagion was good. My expectations were much too high before going into the movie though, I think, for I must admit I felt a little disappointment, but nothing that bothered me for long because the movie itself was truly fun and enjoyable to watch. I loved it. I loved seeing Jude Law again in a movie. I wish it could have been in real life. Also, FRIENDS. How have I not watched this earlier? I'm slowly making my way through the eps, although I finished s9 and almost s10 before going back to continue from s2 where I stopped before. Ugh I love everyone of the characters, and I think my favorite friendship otp has got to be Chandler and Joey.
Also, fun fact. I don't know how weird this is, but it's possibly some amounts of weird. I am attracted to Chandler (okay not weird, obviously) but ugh I think I'm actually turned on by his hands/wrists/arms. Yes wrists. Jesus Christ he just has beautiful wrists okay. Mine are fat and stubby but his is just..
Yes they are wrists. But I've always liked looking at hands. I mean, if I had to choose a trait to which I find myself most attracted to, they'd be someone's hands. Maybe thighs too, but mostly hands. Some people just have the most beautiful hands.
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E-mail: EMAIL HERE
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30 day challenge / facts abt me <- aka more rl related
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